The Heartbeat of God.

Some people argue that the Holy Spirit and his gifts were put to rest long ago when Jesus left this earth. Others even claim that it never existed. I have a much different theory than the latter two : the Holy Spirit is alive and well in my own life and millions of people around the
world as well.

That being said, last night at my youth group we had a time of worship that was unique for our group. Instead of singing on the microphone and having the mighty drum set leading the procession of our band, we had intimate guitars and a bongo type beat going on. The band had come down off the stage to ground level, causing the already timid students to holdback from coming up front even more than usual. But the worship went on, and the hearts that have been captured by God's love sang in unadulterated reverance to his name.

I however, stayed back and just took in the moment and the love i felt from my creator. I observed the puberty sticken boys and girls on higher levels of the seating not quite connecting with the majestic beauty of the moment. Others had blank stares on their faces, perhaps not comfortable or familiar with worshiping. Then there were the few who were set apart, Gods chosen few who have their names written in the book of life. Their often found on their knees praying, their hands held high with their hearts abandoned or oddly givinig their time and love like it will never run out. Those were the few that recieved great reward from this tender moment with their saviour.

While i was sitting there, i read 1 Corinthians 3 , about how Paul showed the people who God was not by mans wisdom, but by God working in the people. He didnt baby the gospel or have to beef it up for people to fall madly in love with God, it was what it was, and it was truth. The truth set the people free.

By the last song of worship i was ready to just close my eyes and listen for Gods voice, and thats when i heard the heartbeat of God. The sound of a few dozen teenagers singing became the 100 million angels singing to Jesus Christ on the right hand of God at this very second. The stage lights that shine dimly on the band and its audience was the glorioius light of God himself, radiating the heavens beyond comprehension. Then there was the beat of the band, two hands and a box like drum became something so significant my heart could barely understand it. It became the heartbeat of God, just like it leads the band, keeps the tempo, God himself in the same way leads my life, its my salvation and my reason. The heartbeat of God calls me home day after day. Its what i live for and its what i will die for, that is my God. And as i layed my head down to sleep after all of this revelation, all i heard was his heartbeat, as i layed my head on his chest. Thats my God. Could a God withouth a Holy Spirit do that? You tell me.

Sit.

My heart was an empty room, 

I sat there alone and stared. 

Stared at the writing on the walls, 

And wondered how i let it all fall. 

My mouth grew silent as my soul grew loud, 

God had already warned me that he corrects the proud. 

I sat there in a state of wonder, 

Wondering how i let myself take on the blame. 

Shouldn't i have remembered the cross has no shame? 

I sat there and dreamt, 

Dreamt of a heart with no guilt hidden inside, 

The Holy Spirit affirmed i had nothing to hide, 

When he was always there to abide.

I sat there with my hands held high, 

High enough to offer all the peoples lies, 

Yet again God affirmed me that in heaven those die. 

I sat there and thought about joy, 

Joy was never something i grasped, except in boys. 

I sat there in a state of panic and fear, 

Fear of something so much bigger than my tedious tears. 

So where is the hope? Where is the faith?

Where is the love that helps me cope? 

I looked to the left, and i looked to the right, 

And all of the sudden i saw God in his might. 

The writing on the walls were a reflection of me, 

Jesus is in love with everything i even try to be. 

So i will open the door, Here Jesus come in and sit. 

And i'll reach for his hand to get me out of this pit. 

Then before i know it, he'll teach me to stand, 

And i will suddenly realize, 

This all never strayed from what he had always planned. 

The Broken Heart and Dirty Water : Mind The Gap.

Lately i have been dealing with my call towards serving God's people in Africa. Those people fill the visions of my mind in the late hours of the night, desperate prayers leave my lips for their single need of knowing Jesus Christ as their Savior, mighty works have been done in my heart to prepare me for the life ahead in this land i do not know. Im leaving my comfort zone here in America to pursue this dream, no, not just a dream, but an undeniable call from heaven itself. I desire with every fiber of my being to be used as a tool solely for the purpose of loving people who no one takes the time of day to care about. To fight for the heart of the king where no one else will go.

However it just makes me wonder though, Why doesnt America, a "Christian" nation, focus on such a call as a whole? Do you realize how much this nation could accomplish if we loosed the grip of our greedy hands and freely poured our resources out on the hurting people of this Earth? Which brings me even further in, Why is breaking God's heart so easy? When Jesus said care for the least of these and it will be as if we were doing it unto him , do you think there was sarcasm in his eyes? Can you imagine sitting at the feet of Jesus and him saying "Give your Costco 35 pack of water to that lady over there, her children are about to die of thirst" and without even a thought of that woman or her children you say 'Well Jesus, im going on a run later, i need to stay hydrated". Its inconcievable. Jesus also talked about water with the Samaritan woman : "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water i give him will never thirst" (John 4:13-14) I cant help but think that we are all drinking dirty water, that although America has the most purified and safe drinking water in the entire world we are poisoning ourselves with polluted "spiritual" water. We dump our greed, lust, gossip, lies, selfish ambition and hatred into the once pure spring that God created and then we curse him for us being spiritually "dry". Would you feel "refreshed" if you scooped up a cup of the water that runs through the streams of Africa and drankn it? The disease ridden, brown, human waste infested water that those people drink from every single day and ultimatley end up dying from. Can you imagine THAT being your only source of hydration? Furthermore,without God's water and the concecration of our lives to him, we will die from "spiritual" dehydration ourselves.

In an odd way, i envy those people dying from dirty water, its a far less price to pay than to die from spiritual thirst because its temporary. The things that we let get into our faith sustaining water now effects our entire eternity. As insanely crazy as it sounds, i would rather go through an entire lifetime on earth suffering and dying of physical thirst then get to heaven and find out I didnt let God truely hydrate me or rather i tainted his life giving gift. So to end this ode to God and his constant provision of water that sustains my life; mind the gap. Be aware that with spiritual hydration comes great sacrifice on our part and a giant leap onto a fast moving train away from the world and its pleasure. Count the cost of temporary dehydration from "earthly" water and the things we "thirst"after in our flesh. But know that you can drink deeply of the purifying and mercy filled waters of our Daddy. It's a smal price to compare to the river we have heir to in heaven where all blessings and glory and honor flow, forever and ever and ever and ever. You thirsty yet?

Recyled Responsibility.

This day and age seems as if it is piling on the responsibilities of yester year. The all to popular subject of the U.S. deficit has become a peace sucking leach on the minds of the average working American. The previous generations have had to pay the debts of their father's and their father's father's, all the way back to the founding fathers of this nation. Hence, we are all kind of bearing recylced responsiblity. It seems to me that this same concept of economical crashing and scrambling to renew itself and run to the government for all the answers applies to christianity in some odd and cosmic way. In essence when you get saved you crash and burn, you turn from your old ways and the debts of your life (sin) and scramble with every ounce you have in you to turn to your support system, essentially Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit. The reason this way of living has had to be adopted is the fall of man, we are all carrying the recycled responsibility of Adam and Eve's infamous stumble outside the glorious threshold of the Garden of Eden. From that point on, humanity has been seperated in a obviously devistating way. It's amazing to think that God planned out the redemption of man. Our responsibility to repay our debts to God has been wiped clean by the immense suffering of Christ at Calvary. This is where this concept detaches itself from the current world situation, unlike the current debt situation of the world, i dont have to carry the sin of my father or my father's father. Im free, drenched in the glorious freedom of knowing Christ. I do, however, carry the responsibility of showing Christ in everything i do in my life. This is a recycled responsiblitity because millions of Christians just like myself have had to pick up their cross's daily to follow him and i am doing the same, even unto death. Love God and Love people, thats what i have been called to do, and i will pass it on to all people i know and my children and my children's children as a crucial and life sustaining call and responsibility. I dont mind it being recycled though, im humbled by the thought of me being part of this amazing body of Christ. Do you recycle?

Starting Over.

Today i had lunch with a woman i look up to and admire. She taught me that grace comes when you need it most. When the painful shrapnal from tragedies of the past resurface its God that you ultimately turn to and ask to heal the aching wound that has been left behind. Ive learned that daily i need to turn my eyes to him and take it off my own wants, hopes, dreams and comforts in pursuit of my prince who knows best. As i was driving home from such an adventure today i had a glimmer of hope shine bright in my heart. That through the darkness that has been so hard to pentrate even earlier this week, there was a break through. Im starting over, or rather starting again. Just as i do, over and over and over again when new chapters of my life begin. I hope that through this blog i can capture the essense of my life. The ends and pieces of the inner workings of my mind, to somehow reveal just what my heart is confessing. What my life is confessing. I owe the glory and the honor to my Lord Jesus Christ, he is everything and this blog is dedicated to him. That is all for now Bloggers, i love you all.